Rooted Wednesdays Vol. 22 I've been babying my hair

Whats on my hair

Well I've been babying it. Which takes presence.

I've noticed how often I've been comparing my hair to past seasons of myself. Seasons where I was younger, had more time on my hands, and hadn't experienced as much life as I have up to this point.

I know comparison always end badly, but letting go of it hasn't been an overnight thing. But I can say I've been choosing presence.

When those thoughts come up, I've been gently setting them down and accepting my hair for where it is today.

I don't know if it's because I've been more present with my hair and the care I'm putting into it today, or being able to notice the beauty that's present, but I've found myself appreciating my hair more than I have in a long time.

When I'm not spending all my energy wishing my hair looked like it did in another season, I have more energy to care for the hair I have right now.

I'm paying attention to what it needs today.

Not what it needed three years ago.

Not what someone else's hair needs.

Not what I think it should be doing by now.

Just what it needs today. And I think that's helping it thrive.

Not because I've discovered some magical routine, but because care is easier when you're present.

I'm grateful for the beauty in my hair today. The hair that has gone through all of the life with me. The hair that has seen stress, joy, grief, growth, mistakes, lessons, healing, and change.

And it still shows up in its own unique way.

A way I'll never see on anyone else.

A way I'll never see again.

Because years from now, I'll probably be looking back at this season of my hair, too.

What's on my heart?

The same thing.

I've been realizing that I can appreciate myself and separate who I am from the timeline I'm on.

For a long time, I've carried around a timeline in my head. A version of life where certain problems are already solved because I made different choices or arrived somewhere sooner.

But what I've realized is that my mind never accounts for the problems that would exist there.

Because life is a process. There will always be things I'm learning, things I'm carrying, things I'm working through.

The timeline in my head isn't free from problems. It's just free from my awareness of them.

And the more I think about it, the more I realize that who I am is separate from all of that.

My values, the way I care, my discernment, and the lessons I've learned are not attached to my timeline or my current reality.

That's helping me trust myself. Trust myself with the uncertainty that comes. 

And just like I've been learning to appreciate my hair in this season, I'm learning to appreciate myself in this season too.

Not once everything is figured out.

Not once every problem is solved.

Now.

Because years from now, I'll probably be looking back on this season either trying to rewrite history or relive it.

Today, I'm choosing to appreciate this season while I'm living it.

from my wash day to yours,
Jasmine