Rooted Wednesdays Vol. 29 "I wish my hair did that…"

What’s on my hair

This wash day was overdue. Like… two weeks overdue.

And my hair made sure I knew it.

I had tangles on tangles, dryness, shedding. I started by detangling with a homemade flaxseed + rosemary gel, shampooed twice with L'Oréal's Hyaluron Plump shampoo, and followed it with Pattern's Breakage Barrier Mask.

And whew. Juicy curls.

For styling, I returned to an old faithful leave-in from Mielle before stretching my hair, trimming my ends, and putting it into twists.

Except…the trim did not go according to plan.

Somewhere between seeing another woman with gorgeous, thick hair talk about maintaining a blunt cut and standing in my own bathroom with scissors in my hand, I decided I needed a blunt cut too.

Mind you, my hair is round, layered shape.

I LIKE my round, layered shape.

Girl. 😂

Eventually I had to get my hands out of my hair, walk away, and come back a couple days later with a much simpler question:

What do I actually want for my hair?

Healthy hair. Longer hair. Clean ends. My round shape.

Oh. That's much simpler.

What's on my heart

“I wish my hair did that.”

I've said it. I've had women say it to me.

And it's such an innocent sentence until admiration quietly becomes evidence against you.

Her hair is thicker. Her hair grew faster. She's figured it out. Maybe I'm doing something wrong.

And before you know it, you're no longer asking someone for advice.

You're asking them to make your decisions for you.

That's what happened to me during this wash day.

I saw someone living in a result that looked similar to my vision, and instead of allowing her journey to inspire mine, I started trying to follow her directions.

I had stopped trusting myself.

That's been sitting with me.

Because hair isn't the only place I've done this.

When something in my life doesn't look the way I want it to, it's so easy to turn that reality into evidence about me.

My hair isn't where I want it to be, so maybe I don't know how to take care of it.

My money isn't where I want it to be, so maybe I can't trust myself with money.

My dream hasn't happened yet, so maybe I'm not doing enough.

And very quickly, I'm not where I want to be becomes I'm not good enough.

But those are two completely different statements.

I'm learning to stop asking: “What does this say about me?”

and start asking: “What is this inviting me to do next?”

Maybe my ends need a trim. Maybe I need to change a habit. Maybe I need to try again. Maybe I need to rest. Maybe I need to admit that I don't know yet.

None of those answers require me to make my current reality my permanent reality.

Hear what else I learned from this very wash day in the video below, if you haven't already! ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

With much love,

Jasmine